Running to the Lamp Post

On limiting beliefs and following our dreams

A couple of weeks ago I asked could we call ourselves an artist if we weren’t actually making art. It is not the first time I have asked that question when I have had a long period not making any pictures or perhaps when I have thought that maybe my art wasn’t good enough. Alongside that question I’m also asking why is it that I am I not making any new art and what is holding me back? My old podcast buddy Izzy has in part been blaming all the ‘stuff’ we accumulate as artists and whilst I cannot argue with that having just spent an entire morning simply trying to locate the floor in my studio, I believe it goes a little deeper. What is it that stops us achieving our goals, succeeding in life, believing in ourselves and reaching for the stars? What really holds us back? We all have excuses like I don’t have enough time or I’m not talented enough, or even I have too much stuff, but really these are just our own limiting beliefs. Do we honestly think that those people who win Olympic golds, who run successful businesses, who sell paintings for thousands of pounds etc are born with some natural ability that enables them to achieve such dizzy heights? While I believe there is some luck and talent involved (or is even that a limiting belief?) mostly the people who succeed in life do so through a lot of hard work and a belief that they can achieve whatever they want. They dream big and reach for those stars.

Limiting beliefs are those stories we tell ourselves about who we are and what we can do. They hold us back and stop us reaching our full potential. They are also a device that stops us from failing. Most people are risk averse, and we don’t like being pushed out of our comfort zones. We only invest time and energy if we think we are going to get results. If we don’t believe in ourselves, we can give up before we start. At least that way we can’t fail, yet it is only by failing we can grow and learn. Sometimes these beliefs are so deep rooted we don’t even know we have them. But they can still stop us achieving our full potential.

I have quite a few limiting beliefs when it comes to my art and calling myself an artist… and I’ll come back to that, but I have an example from another area of my life that illustrates how powerful it can be when we actually believe in ourselves.

Over forty years ago I watched one of the first London Marathons on TV and I was bowled over by the crowds, the excitement, the whole atmosphere of the event and all I could think was “I would love to be part of that”. I couldn’t even begin to imagine how that might happen, but I really wanted it. I was never a sporty child, possibly because I never had the opportunity given my school didn’t even have a playing field. We played netball and tennis on hard courts and my hand eye coordination for ball sports was rubbish so I avoided it when I could. That’s not a belief it’s a fact, I really was useless! I did judo for a while in my teens but by the time I was a young adult I did nothing more than a bit of walking so you would think I would put aside any ideas about running a marathon by telling myself I couldn’t do it. I don’t have the ability, I’m the wrong build, I don’t have time… any number of those limiting beliefs could have stopped me. But they didn’t. The thought of being there with all those people and crossing the finish line just kept niggling away. Circumstances prevented me doing much about it immediately. A spell living abroad with a husband who worked away much of the time, plus a toddler and the birth of a new baby were more than just excuses but five years later in 1987, after watching the marathon again, I decided I was going to do it. The time was now.

I had a five-year-old and a two-year-old and a husband who still worked away much of the time. I had never run anywhere through choice, and I certainly wasn’t especially fit but somehow I found the time to start running. I would go out for a brisk walk and then summon the energy run to the next lamp post until I needed to slow down and catch my breath. I couldn’t even run for one whole minute on those first outings, but I never gave up believing I could do it. And every time I ran for 30 seconds toward a lamp post, I imagined I was running towards the finishing line of the London Marathon. Twelve months later in April 1988 I crossed that finish line. It took me five hours, but I did it and it felt like the best thing ever. Yes, there was a chance I could have failed but that was a risk worth taking. At least if I failed, I would have failed trying rather than because of some limiting belief.

Over the finish line!

As it happens it started a hobby that kept me sane (it’s all relative) and fit for the next twenty odd years. Running became an important part of my life. I joined a running club, I started a beginners running group in our village and formed friendships through running that have lasted to this day. Ten years after that first marathon I ran the London Marathon again but this time at age forty it only took me four hours and that was with a broken wrist (roller skating accident, best not to ask) and in pouring rain! And all that because I believed I could do it.

Tired, wet and bedraggled, but crossing that finish line!

However, when it comes to my art, I’m full of limiting beliefs that have held me back for most of my life. Despite believing throughout my childhood that I would become an artist I was never encouraged to follow that dream. My school told me it wasn’t a ‘proper job’, my dad said I would never earn a living and obstacles were put in my way. I believed what they told me and never followed my dream of going to art school. I also believed that if I didn’t go to art school then I could never really be an artist. It is only in recent years that I realised that if I was making art that I was indeed an artist and have finally put that particular limiting belief behind me. David Hockney once said no one ever asked to see his art diploma, they are only interested in his paintings and that is so true.

Tied up with that first limiting belief is a sneaky suspicion that maybe I’m not very good at art. After all, perhaps that is why I was never encouraged to follow my dream when I was young? I go through periods when I realise that it is just another huge limiting belief, and even if I’m not that great, all I need to do is keep practising, keep running to that next lamp post and then I’ll continue to improve. But it still gets me when I least expect it even now. Those self-doubts are never far away.

Returning to drawing… slowly!

And the limiting belief that I am currently struggling with is that I need to be constantly creating art if I am an artist. I haven’t painted anything in over four months, I haven’t even picked up a sketchbook this year and there have been moments during this time when I have wondered if I ever will again. I can’t possibly call myself an artist if I don’t make art surely? But I have come to realise that creativity ebbs and flows and for me those fallow times are necessary to recharge my batteries. However in the past few weeks I have attended a couple of workshops that have got me sketching again and I have a new portrait in progress. I have an overwhelming urge to clear out my very messy studio, revisit old sketchbooks and hopefully start creating something new.

And the point of all this, is to reassure you… or possibly myself, that we all have limiting beliefs, it’s normal but that is all they are. They are beliefs not facts. And if we can turn them around into dreams and goals then anything is possible, and we can all run our own personal marathons. What about you? What are your limiting beliefs? I would love to hear about them and how you have overcome them.

And good luck to everyone who is running the 45th London Marathon today!