God life is so hard. I had similar bother and distress with my Mum some years ago. Now I have an aunt who never stops putting pressure on me about her needs yet she has such good friends! Now I find there are all these awful problems for my husband and myself and no one to help......
I wish you and your Mum all the best and hope everything works out. Take care of Yourself too.
Please don’t think about stopping Gina. I have foolowed you blog for years when you actually gave us work to do. I have followed your son’s lovely weddings and your downsize move. And now moving to Substack. Your writing always cheers me especially now I have entered the realms of the elderly because of the cancer return and a failure of an operation!!!!
I have been hugely encouraged by the response to this last post Janice so I will definitely be carrying on, although I’m not sure I’ll be giving you work to do!
I read somewhere that growing old is a blessing denied to many, yet being old not so much! I guess we all need to take each day as it comes and enjoy the life we have. Sending love and best wishes your way
So sorry to hear about your mum Gina, I think so may of us are in a similar situation so at least we do understand. My mum was six months in hospital last year...2 separate falls at home resulted in a broken femur and a chipped at the bottom of her spine but a fall in hospital meant she broke two bones in her upper back(she needed the loo and nobody came so she got out of bed and fell) when I eventually got her home last August, having at long last got a diagnosis of the Parkinson's which I kept telling people that she had, we are now settled with lovely carers visiting 4 times a day and me managing food, cleaning, gardening etc.....it costs almost as much as a care home but mum is happier in her own space. She says constantly that she doesn't want to be here which is hard to hear but since dad died over 6 years ago she is just sad every day......but I keep trying to explain that she is so healthy in every other way she should be planning to be here for probably another 10 years but she feels 87 is enough.
I'm so pleased your mum looks so settled in her home, it's much the best for her as the social interaction is just as important as the physical care. Look after yourself and I always enjoy your newsletter as I did your blog all those years ago.
Hi Lynda, it seems so sad that so many of us are going through the same experience both with hospital care and then more permanent arrangements. My fear for mum was that she was going to fall getting out of bed for the ten days she was in hospital, because once she was past any critical danger she was just left sitting for most of the time. We also considered carers coming into her own home but I was still worried about overnight etc. Fortunately mum seems to like where she is and told me yesterday it was better than the last place she was living ( the hospital!) And she’s not mentioned just wanting to die for at least a week so that’s something! Small steps I guess. I’m trying not to think about what happens when the money runs out!
Hi Gina. I enjoy reading your news letters and I can particularly identify with this latest one. I had much the same experience with my Mum. I feel there are plenty of caring, dedicated people in the NHS, but they don’t seem to be supervised properly. I’m glad your Mum is better now and happy in her care home.
I think I pressed the heart. But I was going to write anyway. So I hope that counts. 😁
Gina I really enjoy reading your email every week. Particularly as I feel you and I are on a very similar path at the moment. My mum also has Alzheimer’s but at present lives independently with my dad. Both 88, both a little bit frail but doing pretty well considering. I see them most days, take them shopping, to appointments and what ever else they need.
My mum has been suffering with severe breathing difficulties this week. She was told to go to A&E on Monday (9 1//2 hours). We had to return for further tests on Tuesday (7 hours) and more further tests on Friday (5 hours). It was all very tiring for her and as I’m sure you have experienced fatigue does ramp up the forgetfulness and confusion. But we manage to maintain our sense of humour and all the staff comment on how smiley she is.
I too felt both physically and mentally exhausted by the end of the week. But I did manage to do some tiny snapshot drawings of Agapanthus in my garden (I love Agapanthus 😁) between the rain showers. I don’t know what they might develop into but I’ve got them ready when I’ve got a bit of brain space 😁
I hope your mum is settling into her new home and that you are happier and can relax a bit now that you know she has 24 hour care. 🥰
What a week! I am enjoying reading your newletter and found last week's kneeler information interesting. A follow up from the Winchester kneelers is that another design has been found in the archives, incidentally via Tracey Chavalier's research about the kneelers, and it has now been sewn by a member of the Cathedral Broderers. Hope your mum is settling down and you are able to get to your garden in the sunshine.
Well you have more than 50 likes, perhaps you can get 50 comments, I’ll add mine to help 😁. I used to follow, and enjoy, your blog and now enjoy this weekly letter so do please keep it up. I’m sorry you’ve had such a stressful time and hope things keep improving. As Sandra said, look after yourself as well!
Oh, Gina! What a week you've had! So pleased for you and your family that your mum's op was successful. She looks happy in her new abode. Long may it last. Wishing you a relaxing week and looking forward to your newsletter next Sunday. They've become part of my weekend!
Oh Gina I’m so sorry to hear about your poor Mum - but, sadly, not at all surprised at the complete lack of empathy regarding your Mum’s discharge from hospital. I probably told you about the time when Dad was in hospital following a fall and they assured me he would stay in overnight, then discharged him at 11pm, in a cab, with no money, no phone, and no front door key! Just fortunate his neighbours had returned from their holiday and got him in.
You must be relieved that your Mum is now settled into her care home and she certainly looks to be happy xx
I am so sorry to hear of the awful time you have had and so glad your mum is settling well. She looks very bright in her photo! I fully understand the emotional strain and tiredness this causes, it is an exhausting business. Congratulations on your 50th post and always look forward to your writing.
So sorry to hear about your mum and all the problems with her discharge from hospital. She looks very happy in the photo, so hopefully things are going to get easier for all of you.
Dear Gina I so enjoy reading your Sunday posts. I do hope that your dear Mum continues be stay happy and well in her new home. Thank goodness she has you to make sure she is taken care of properly. Dreadful to read of the problems that you encountered but unfortunately they seem to happen in lots of places. Sending you love and best wishes. Ju xxx
I love reading your piece and look forward to your email every Sunday.
Your experience with your mum happens too often. I suggest you put in writing and send it to the head of the trust and to PALS and to your MP asking them to raise it with Wes Streeting. As you say it is the admin that is at fault but that impacts on the staff and patient and if we don't keep raising the issue, it won't change
What a stressful time you must have had with your mum. A close friend has been going through a very similar experience with her mum and as an ex- nurse was disgusted with the lack of communication & lies that were told during the process - we know there is a lot of pressure on beds but that doesn’t excuse it! I’m glad to hear that your mum seems to have settled in well in her new home. Best wishes to you both.
This is such a shame to hear Judith. After such excellent treatment when Mum was in danger it was a shock to see how quickly she seemed to drop in priority once not at risk. At least she is being well looked after now
God life is so hard. I had similar bother and distress with my Mum some years ago. Now I have an aunt who never stops putting pressure on me about her needs yet she has such good friends! Now I find there are all these awful problems for my husband and myself and no one to help......
I wish you and your Mum all the best and hope everything works out. Take care of Yourself too.
I hope things work out for you too Sandra. X
Please don’t think about stopping Gina. I have foolowed you blog for years when you actually gave us work to do. I have followed your son’s lovely weddings and your downsize move. And now moving to Substack. Your writing always cheers me especially now I have entered the realms of the elderly because of the cancer return and a failure of an operation!!!!
I have been hugely encouraged by the response to this last post Janice so I will definitely be carrying on, although I’m not sure I’ll be giving you work to do!
I read somewhere that growing old is a blessing denied to many, yet being old not so much! I guess we all need to take each day as it comes and enjoy the life we have. Sending love and best wishes your way
So sorry to hear about your mum Gina, I think so may of us are in a similar situation so at least we do understand. My mum was six months in hospital last year...2 separate falls at home resulted in a broken femur and a chipped at the bottom of her spine but a fall in hospital meant she broke two bones in her upper back(she needed the loo and nobody came so she got out of bed and fell) when I eventually got her home last August, having at long last got a diagnosis of the Parkinson's which I kept telling people that she had, we are now settled with lovely carers visiting 4 times a day and me managing food, cleaning, gardening etc.....it costs almost as much as a care home but mum is happier in her own space. She says constantly that she doesn't want to be here which is hard to hear but since dad died over 6 years ago she is just sad every day......but I keep trying to explain that she is so healthy in every other way she should be planning to be here for probably another 10 years but she feels 87 is enough.
I'm so pleased your mum looks so settled in her home, it's much the best for her as the social interaction is just as important as the physical care. Look after yourself and I always enjoy your newsletter as I did your blog all those years ago.
Hi Lynda, it seems so sad that so many of us are going through the same experience both with hospital care and then more permanent arrangements. My fear for mum was that she was going to fall getting out of bed for the ten days she was in hospital, because once she was past any critical danger she was just left sitting for most of the time. We also considered carers coming into her own home but I was still worried about overnight etc. Fortunately mum seems to like where she is and told me yesterday it was better than the last place she was living ( the hospital!) And she’s not mentioned just wanting to die for at least a week so that’s something! Small steps I guess. I’m trying not to think about what happens when the money runs out!
Thank you for your continued support x
Hi Gina. I enjoy reading your news letters and I can particularly identify with this latest one. I had much the same experience with my Mum. I feel there are plenty of caring, dedicated people in the NHS, but they don’t seem to be supervised properly. I’m glad your Mum is better now and happy in her care home.
Thank you Ann. Sadly I think far too many of us are experiencing the same failures within our NHS, despite some wonderful caring individuals
I think I pressed the heart. But I was going to write anyway. So I hope that counts. 😁
Gina I really enjoy reading your email every week. Particularly as I feel you and I are on a very similar path at the moment. My mum also has Alzheimer’s but at present lives independently with my dad. Both 88, both a little bit frail but doing pretty well considering. I see them most days, take them shopping, to appointments and what ever else they need.
My mum has been suffering with severe breathing difficulties this week. She was told to go to A&E on Monday (9 1//2 hours). We had to return for further tests on Tuesday (7 hours) and more further tests on Friday (5 hours). It was all very tiring for her and as I’m sure you have experienced fatigue does ramp up the forgetfulness and confusion. But we manage to maintain our sense of humour and all the staff comment on how smiley she is.
I too felt both physically and mentally exhausted by the end of the week. But I did manage to do some tiny snapshot drawings of Agapanthus in my garden (I love Agapanthus 😁) between the rain showers. I don’t know what they might develop into but I’ve got them ready when I’ve got a bit of brain space 😁
I hope your mum is settling into her new home and that you are happier and can relax a bit now that you know she has 24 hour care. 🥰
Take care
Janine xxx
Janine, it sounds as though you have had quite the week too! Take care of yourself and keep smiling x
Will do - you too xxx
What a week! I am enjoying reading your newletter and found last week's kneeler information interesting. A follow up from the Winchester kneelers is that another design has been found in the archives, incidentally via Tracey Chavalier's research about the kneelers, and it has now been sewn by a member of the Cathedral Broderers. Hope your mum is settling down and you are able to get to your garden in the sunshine.
Thank you for sharing that Joan. I love that there is always something else to learn!
Well you have more than 50 likes, perhaps you can get 50 comments, I’ll add mine to help 😁. I used to follow, and enjoy, your blog and now enjoy this weekly letter so do please keep it up. I’m sorry you’ve had such a stressful time and hope things keep improving. As Sandra said, look after yourself as well!
Thank you Kath. All the likes and lovely comments have certainly been a boost this week
Oh, Gina! What a week you've had! So pleased for you and your family that your mum's op was successful. She looks happy in her new abode. Long may it last. Wishing you a relaxing week and looking forward to your newsletter next Sunday. They've become part of my weekend!
Thank you Chris. That means a lotx
Oh Gina I’m so sorry to hear about your poor Mum - but, sadly, not at all surprised at the complete lack of empathy regarding your Mum’s discharge from hospital. I probably told you about the time when Dad was in hospital following a fall and they assured me he would stay in overnight, then discharged him at 11pm, in a cab, with no money, no phone, and no front door key! Just fortunate his neighbours had returned from their holiday and got him in.
You must be relieved that your Mum is now settled into her care home and she certainly looks to be happy xx
That is awful treatment of your Dad… unbelievable they could do that. It’s a relief to know my Mum is in safe hands
I am so sorry to hear of the awful time you have had and so glad your mum is settling well. She looks very bright in her photo! I fully understand the emotional strain and tiredness this causes, it is an exhausting business. Congratulations on your 50th post and always look forward to your writing.
Thank you Deborah, onwards and upwards!
So sorry to hear about your mum and all the problems with her discharge from hospital. She looks very happy in the photo, so hopefully things are going to get easier for all of you.
I’m certainly happier now I know she is being well cared for
What a todo!
Hopefully you’re now sane. And your mum continues to thrive in her new home xxx
Fingers crossed Jenny!
Dear Gina I so enjoy reading your Sunday posts. I do hope that your dear Mum continues be stay happy and well in her new home. Thank goodness she has you to make sure she is taken care of properly. Dreadful to read of the problems that you encountered but unfortunately they seem to happen in lots of places. Sending you love and best wishes. Ju xxx
Thank you Julia x
I love reading your piece and look forward to your email every Sunday.
Your experience with your mum happens too often. I suggest you put in writing and send it to the head of the trust and to PALS and to your MP asking them to raise it with Wes Streeting. As you say it is the admin that is at fault but that impacts on the staff and patient and if we don't keep raising the issue, it won't change
Thank you Susan. You have spurred me on and I will definitely be taking it up with PALS. It’s no way to treat people after a stay in hospital
What a stressful time you must have had with your mum. A close friend has been going through a very similar experience with her mum and as an ex- nurse was disgusted with the lack of communication & lies that were told during the process - we know there is a lot of pressure on beds but that doesn’t excuse it! I’m glad to hear that your mum seems to have settled in well in her new home. Best wishes to you both.
This is such a shame to hear Judith. After such excellent treatment when Mum was in danger it was a shock to see how quickly she seemed to drop in priority once not at risk. At least she is being well looked after now
What a week Gina! So pleased that the outcome seems good. 😊 Hoping you get a little respite x
Thank you Annie